the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
