Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
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