these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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