Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he shaved USA in his pubs
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
