Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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