that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Couch. On fire.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
