News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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