1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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