what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's blow job season.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
