You really coming over, don't trick.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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