is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
