hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
