I looked at my own cervix.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
