I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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