We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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