i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think your dad took our porno
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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