moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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