On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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