My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
