so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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