I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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