do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
