I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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