Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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