he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize