what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
