It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
