That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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