Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
apparently the secret to your success is patron
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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