I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
