She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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