can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
