honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
babies were throwing up all over the place
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
