wanna go halves on a baby?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
