dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
