I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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