He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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