Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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