Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
