so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
