do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
