This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
