Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
