Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
