Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
