even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
May the power of my ass compel you!!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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