just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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