This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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