She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
now i know why i became what i already was.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
