Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Of course I have a pirate flag
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
