Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
