I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We got so high we made milksteak
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
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Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
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Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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