He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
