tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she looked like the before picture.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
